Friday, May 30, 2008

God Be With You Kolby, Till We Meet Again

Do You Remember?

I remember the day you told me you were going to have a baby. The joy in your voice was so contagious! I was so excited to have my first little niece or nephew!
I remember how sick you felt, but it didn’t matter! You were fulfilling a dream! Having a baby and being a mommy.
I remember your tummy growing rounder and rounder, a little baby growing right inside you!
I remember the day you found out your baby was going to be a little boy. I secretly cried in my heart for happiness!
I remember you placing my hand on your stomach so I could feel the little fellow moving all around. You loved that part, I remember.
I remember your shower, how we all squished in my little apartment and showered you with gifts in anticipation of your new arrival!

I remember when you had early contractions and I got to take you to the hospital. I knew he needed more time for development, but I really wanted him to be born right then! It’s a good thing he waited until he was ready.
I remember your scheduled day of c-section. I couldn’t describe how ecstatic I was to see the newest member of our family!
I remember rushing to the hospital on little Kolby’s arrival. I couldn’t wait to see him and hold him.
I remember walking into your hospital room. You had the biggest smile on your face! Your joy radiated and lit up the entire place!

I remember holding Kolby for the first time and almost crying.
I remember you trying to breast feed Kolby. It was so hard for you, but you knew it was the best thing you could do for him, so you struggled through it!
I remember how much pain you were in from the c-section. But in your eyes, it was worth the pain to bring Kolby into the world and give him life!

I remember watching you care for Kolby and was so impressed with what a natural nurturer you were.
I remember when Kolby got really sick and had to spend a few days in the hospital. We were all so frightened, but I tried to act like everything was going to be okay. You were always there for him.
I remember having to go teach everyday, but wishing that I could baby-sit Kolby instead!

I remember how hard it was for you to attend church without your husband, but you took your little boy anyway, you knew it was right.
I remember how I just wanted to cuddle Kolby all throughout church! But when he started crying I could just give him to you, and you had the magic touch.
I remember Kolby’s blessing day. All our relatives showed up and we were all so proud to show off your little boy.
I remember Kolby’s adorable chubby cheeks. I just wanted to kiss them all the time!
I remember seeing Kolby smile for the first time. I couldn’t stop giggling!
I remember when I had to move away from Utah and you guys. I was so sad to have to leave my sister and only blood nephew behind!
I remember when your family drove to Arizona to visit us. I couldn’t wait to see Kolby!
I remember how Kolby had such a pleasant personality, and only cried when he was hungry, poopy, or tired.
I remember how you would roll around on the floor and Kolby would copy and roll right along with you!
I remember being so excited to see him crawl and lift himself up. He was quite the mover!

I remember Kolby’s giggle. You just wanted to keep making him laugh because it filled your own soul with glee.
I remember talking to you on the phone and asking you to have Kolby “talk” to me. I loved all the little noises he would make!
I remember you telling me that it was the most wonderful thing in the world to have a baby and be a mommy.
I remember thinking that you were the best mom.

I remember everyone telling me what a good little mom you were too.
I remember when you took Kolby to Oklahoma to visit and made him the cutest crib bedding!

I remember when your family moved to Oklahoma with Mom and Dad after Bryon’s factory blew up—everyone was so excited to have little Kolby living there!
I remember visiting Oklahoma for Christmas, and one of the things I was most excited for was to see Kolby!

I remember how Kolby was learning to walk. All he ever wanted to do was hold onto somebody’s fingers and walk, walk, walk! We had to take turns.
I remember that one of Kolby’s first words was “hot!” We’d all say “hot!” to him, trying to get him to talk to us.
I remember putting Kolby in the middle of the round table at Mom and Dad’s house, with all of us sitting around him fighting for his attention.
I remember everyone hitting the table with their hands and Kolby smiling, turning ‘round and ‘round to see everyone doing the same thing.
I remember using that same table, putting Kolby on his tummy, holding onto his feet and sliding him back and forth across the slippery surface. Boy did he love that!
I remember when Kolby finally got his first “walker.” Right when you set it up, he knew what to do with it! He walked and walked all around the house! It took him a while to figure out how to actually guide the thing! We would all just sit around watching, giggling, giggling, and giggling!
I remember how much Kolby loved to be read too. That was one way to get him to sit still on your lap and cuddle up!

I remember how Bryon would be lying down on the ground, and Kolby would run over and wrestle with him!
I remember the day we went to get family pictures. Kolby was the little prince. We each wanted an individual picture with him! He was our pride and joy!

I remember Kolby’s first birthday! You planned it a little early so we could all be there to celebrate his life!
I remember you putting the cake in front of Kolby and letting him dig in! At first, he didn’t know what to do! But then he sure had fun getting his hands in the sticky frosting!

I remember that whenever you were in the room, Kolby only wanted you. He was quite the Mama’s boy.
I remember how sweet I thought it was how he would lie his little head on your shoulder and pat your back!

I remember the dreadful phone call I got about Kolby’s accident. I cried and cried.
I remember wishing I could suck all the pain out of you and the family and put it in myself.
I remember praying and praying for a miracle, but letting Heavenly Father know that I knew it was His will, not ours.
I remember having great hope that Kolby would make it.
I remember the second phone call that Kolby had passed away. My heart bled and bled and I just wanted to be there to hold and hug you and help you know everything would be okay.

I know the pain seems unbearable and is unbearable right now. Only time can heal, but Kolby will remain in our minds and hearts in spirit forever. And I know without a doubt, that we will all see him again. I know that he had a wonderful life on earth with a loving and caring family, but also that he is now in a far better place than we could ever imagine! He has our own family members and ancestors with him, so happy that he is back with them! He will surely watch over his Mommy, Daddy, and big brother, and look forward to the day when they join him in the eternities. Until then, he’ll do the work he was meant to do, and take joy in watching his family choose the right and grow in their testimonies, so that he can be with them again, united as a family, for all eternity.


jeanine said...

Oh Angie! This made me cry. I actually just heard about this and then came over to check your blog. We'll be praying for your family. If you or your family need anything just let us know!

Waggoner Family said...

How I wish I could take all the pain and hurt away from your family right now. My heart aches for Cassie and Bryon. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers and that we love you so much. We are going to miss Kolby.

Sterling, Wendy, and Brooklyn said...

Angie my heart sunk when I read your blog. If you guys need anything let us know, you guys are wonderful.

Garr Family said...

I just love you all and am so sad that your family has to go through all this. Your words were amazing. Your in my prayers by the min. I'm going to miss Kolby also. Talk to you soon, Laura

okbushmans said...

We are so sorry Angie! We can not imagine the pain you and your family are going through. Reading this it just broke my heart. Your family will be in our prayers!

Rachel said...

I've been crying all day. I'm so sad for Cassie and Bryon, for your Mom and Dad, for everyone. What a sweet post. I wish I could just hug Cassie right now and cry with her. I love her. I love you. I love your family. Give them my love. My prayers are with all of you.

Whitehorn Family said...

Oh my heart aches!!
Ever since your text this morning I cannot get Cassie and your family off my mind. I just want to hug her and love her.
I cannot even imagine understanding what you and she are going through.
Your testimony is true and beautiful. How grateful we are to have the gospel and knowledge that we DO get to see Kolby again and Cassie will raise him in the eternities some day. He's not here on this earth, but he is always with us and waiting for us to return to him and our Heavenly Father.
Angie I know you will appreciate all those memories you have written down in years to come.
I love you and your family so much.
I do want to be informed when the funeral is, and please know how much we love you, Cassie, Byron your family and Kolby and you are all in my thoughts and prayers.

Kurtis said...

Angie, I am so sad for you and Cassie and your whole family. I don't even have words...all I can do is cry. I know that prayers are answered, and I am already praying for you. Please know that I love you, and send my love to Cassie and her husband.

Tara said...

Angie I am so sorry. This just breaks my heart. I will keep you and your sister in my prayers. Love you!

annie said...

I am so sorry for this loss in your family. Your words to your sister were so sweet and true. I cannot imagine the loss that she and Bryon are feeling right now. I know that you all have so much strength together as a family. Let me know if there is anything I can do.

The Meade's said...

Angie, WOW you and Rich have a way with words. Richard and I have been deeply touched by your post about little Kolby and we want you to know that he is in our prayers and thoughts along with your family. We love you ever so much and wish you support and confort threw these hard times. What a cute little man that was able to come to Earth and touch so many souls before he returns to do the same in the Heavens. He is one special little man in the eyes of our Heavely Father and his family here on Earth.

The Roberts' Report said...

Ditto to all the lovely comments from everyone else! I'm so sad for your family! How tragic to lose a child so young. I can't even imagine the pain, the heartache, the loss, the confusion, the frustration...I would feel totally unable to move on. It's hard to fight back the tears for you guys. Our hearts are with you!!

Schuyler said...

Angie, I'm so sorry for your family's loss. I've been thinking about you all since I heard. Just know that we're praying for your family! Please let us know if you need anything. We love you! Send our love to your family.

Moeller Fam said...

Hey friend! We are so sorry to hear about your nephew. What a cute little boy! We are so blessed to have the Gospel, aren't we? We will pray for you and Cassie and her hubby and son. May our Heavenly Father bring you the peace that you need at this time! Hugs to you!

The Orgill Family said...

Dear Family...

I am so sorry about this whole thing. It isn't fair and it doesn't make sense. But I want you to know that I have a testimony of Jesus Christ and that His plan of salvation is so very real. We WILL see Kolby again and families can be reunited!!
Our little family loves you ALL so much and our hearts just ache for you. You are amazing and life is eternal....
Joe Tori and Ellen

Lauren and Trevor said...

You have all been on our minds so much and definitely in our prayers. We love you dearly and are so sorry about your loss.

Whipple said...

I am crying right now for you guys. I am so sorry. I can't imagine the pain you all are going through. We are praying for you guys.

Amy said...

OH my goodness Angie! I'm so saddened by this post. But it sure made me smile...what a beautiful tribute to a darling, sweet baby boy! I'll be praying for your family! Please pass my love and sympathy on to your wonderful family!! I need to ask what happened?? I'm just in shock!

Kate Lorraine said...

I am so sorry for your loss. This post was so thoughtful and neat to read. You and your family are in my prayers.

Ayami (Yoshizaki) Norton said...

Angie, I'm so sorry to hear your loss. I will be praying for your family and you.

Maria said...

I am so sorry to hear this news. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

Kim said...


I just read your post and I can't put into words how sad I am for you. Having a little boy of my own makes me hurt even more for your sweet family. I truly can't imagine what you are going through or how you must feel. I love you and your family and I will be in touch soon. Please know I am here if you need anything.

Mommas said...

Precious Angie,
Tears began with the first sentence and still have not stopped. What a sweet tribute to both your Kolby and his mommy. I wish I could hug you all too. I know there are never words sufficient to heal and console, but please know I love you, and send my love on to your family and the Weskes.

Tiffany Romney said...

Hey Ang, I am sorry to hear about this. That is very sad, but thank heavens we know where he is now. That was a very sweet post for you to write. My prayers are with you all!

Wendi Oyler said...

I'm so sorry! I cried when I read your blog. My heart is broken for you and especially Cassie. Tell Cassie I'm very sorry and I'm praying for both of you.

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