Tuesday, April 29, 2008

100 Things About Me (Richie)

I am writing this only because my mom and Angie requested it.  So here goes nothin'.

1. I only like 4 things: Religion, Family, BYU Football, and music
2. In high school my two favorite kinds of music were rap and classical
3. I never thought that I'd marry a white girl
4. I am 4 years younger than Angie
5. Of all the dates I ever went on, I was younger than the girl on all but two
6. I love teaching Gospel Doctrine in our ward
7. I love studying the scriptures
8. I love reading articles on farms.byu.edu
9. I read cougarboard almost every day
10. I think I am more obsessed with BYU football than anyone else in the world
11. I graduated from BYU
12. I am going to graduate school at the University of Arizona
13. I really don't like school
14. I like trying to be funny
15. I am really shy around people I don't know but then I'm crazy around people I'm comfortable with
16. I worked in the Wymount Family Housing Office for 2 and a half years
17. I was a secretary at Wymount but I made everyone call me a desk attendant because I didn't want to feel like a girl
18. When I was a secretary at Wymount I was also the secretary in our Elders Quorum and wanted people to give me presents on Secretary's Day
19. I used to have a gap in my front teeth so I'd never show my teeth when I'd smile.  
20. My dentist once told me to push my teeth together with my fingers every day to fix the gap. My brother-in-law Matt is a dentist and told me not to do that
21. The eye doctor once told me I was red-green color blind but I don't believe it
22. I draw pictures at a 1st grade level
23. I'm really excited to be a dad
24. I love playing with little kids because I act like them anyway
25. I love Angie Whitaker
26. I've always felt like I'm a lot dumber than my brother Ryan
27. I once had a dream where Angie let me in on a secret that everyone thought I was really ugly
28. I burned a rap CD with songs I wrote from junior high up until my freshman year of college
29. I've always felt that I make friends easily
30. I feel like the dumbest person in my class of 10 at the U of A
31. I feel like the other students all like Audiology a whole lot more than me
32. I've always felt very close to my dad even after he died of cancer when I was 8
33. I sometimes dance like a little kid to get Angie's attention
34. Angie tells me to "stop it" a lot
35. I went on my mission to Curitiba, Brazil
36. My favorite number is 36
37. My least favorite number is 7
38. My two least favorite movies are Beethoven and God's Army II
39. My two least favorite songs are Cotton Eye Joe and Mr. Jones
40. I have never seen the movie Titanic
41. I had never eaten a Pop Tart until I married Angie
42. My biggest fear is failure
43. I hate playing baseball/softball but Angie loves it
44. I used to be really fast
45. When I was 9 I honestly thought that I would win the Heisman Trophy some day
46. One time I tried to fake sick to stay home from school.  My mom gave me a thermometer to check my temperature and when she left the room I put the thermometer up to a light bulb to make it hot and it exploded.  I went to school that day.
47. I have never broken a bone (except for maybe toes, I don't know)
48. I try to avoid eye contact with Angie when she flosses at night because I'm afraid she'll make me floss too
49. The image I have of myself in my mind is a lot more handsome than the one in the mirror
50. I like to call my classmates in class to try to make their cell phones go off
51. I used to work at Orange Julius in high school
52. That was my least favorite job ever
53. Sometimes I wish I never would have learned how to walk because then people could just do stuff for me
54. I like to ask people who they think is better looking between Brad Pitt and Denzel Washington and then call them racist no matter who they say
55. I could put ranch dressing on almost everything I eat
56. I used to call myself Asian by Association because I had so many asian friends
57. My favorite video game of all time is Tecmo Super Bowl
58. My mom used to call me Pooder when I was little but now denies that she ever did
59. Indiana Jones/Han Solo were my childhood heroes 
60. In my school picture for kindergarten I tried to do a little half smile to look like Indiana Jones but I really just ended up looking weird
61. Europe is the continent I would least like to visit
62. My favorite home cooked meal is chicken and rice
63. I also love cheeseburgers but only fast food ones, restaurant cheeseburgers are gross
64. I am very sensitive to other people's feelings
65. I worry about stuff a lot on the inside but I almost always act calm on the outside
66. When I was a kid I thought that I didn't like corn on the cob and would complain to my mom when we'd have it.  When I tried it however, I really liked it so I told my mom that I would just eat it to make her happy because I was too proud to admit that I'd changed my mind
67. I don't believe that salmonella exists because I've never met anyone thats ever had it
68. I might like cookie dough better than the actual cookies so that might be why I refuse to believe in salmonella
69. In general, I think that guys are funnier than girls
70. There is a little boy somewhere in Brazil named after me
71. My favorite state is Maryland
72. I've only been to Maryland once
73. I am the youngest grandchild on the Whitaker side of my family
74. I can't eat breakfast right when I wake up because it makes me sick
75. I've had the same hair cut since 1998
76. I gained 15 pounds on the honeymoon (1 week)
77. I've lost 10 pounds since moving to Tucson due to stress, heat, and starvation
78. I think I'll probably die from cancer
79. I hate swimming, ice skating, bowling, and roller skating, all things that most people like
80. One time I bowled a 36 
81. I like to call my brother-in-law Troy and say mean things to him
82. I once made a New Year's resolution to not yawn for the whole year.  I yawned about half an hour after midnight
83. I performed in the Stadium of Fire in 2006
84. When I was a little kid I used to go hiking in the foot hills next to my house and collect animal bones.  I would bring the bones home and put them in my closet.  So my closet was full of dead animal bones until my mom told me to get rid of them because it wasn't sanitary
85. My sister Patrice used to call me Cardboard Brainless Wonder
86. I can watch old BYU football games over and over and never get bored of them
87. I am really good at doing nothing
88. I can do a really good gorilla impression
89. I tried to run for Student Body President as a high school senior, which you can't do because you have to be a junior to run.  I was planning on winning and then respectfully declining because I had to move on to college.  I would have won but then I got kicked out of the election
90. I have sniffed pepper up my nose twice just to make people laugh
91. I used to go kick a school trailer every Saturday night at Orem Junior High with my friends
92. I can Russian Dance really well but one time I possibly broke my toe doing it after my friend Steve beat Street Fighter with the Russian guy
93. When I was a kid I refused to dress up for Halloween after about age 9
94. I would save all of my Halloween candy because I didn't want to waste it so quick.  Then I'd never end up eating it and would end up throwing it away
95. I save up money and don't like to spend it, possibly related to how I would save my Halloween candy.  However, I will not be throwing away my money
96. I've told Angie that when I die I am giving all of my money to BYU football
97. One time the FBI came in to Wymount and interviewed me.  I told them my title was President Desk Attendant
98. When my boss Kecia would start to ask me to do something at work I would pick up the phone and pretend like I was helping someone.  She could see on her phone that no one was on the line
99. When I was in 6th grade I waited for hours to meet Michelle Pfeifer and then when she came out from filming she hid behind someone and got in a car and drove away
100. Little kids love me


Kecia said...

HOLY CRAP! RICHARD YOU MAKE ME LAUGH!!!! I'm gonna to have to save this post somewhere so I can read it over and over again. I want to comment on so many things I don't even know where to start.

You didn't mention your "watching Football games" rules, which are noteworthy. I was so stressed out every time we watched a game with you, trying to remember all the rules.

You tried the Brad Pitt/Denzel question on me. I told you that they couldn't be compared. And you were upset that I wouldn't give you an answer and hence, messed up the joke.

You forgot that your favorite song is "Take my breath away." I swear you must have called the radio station on your way to work to request it. Dun Dun Dun Dun Duuun. Duh Dunn...;)

I laughed so hard about the President Desk Attendant and the phone line thing. Desk attendant...President Desk Attendant...

And the Ugly dream...ha ha...I remember that! Whew!

I think the official title at wymount is now Desk Attendant...probably thanks to you.

Remember when Natalie wasn't mad at you about rap music, so not mad that she threw a marker at you?

The best Wymount times were when you, Natalie and Jami were the secre...ahem desk attendants. Ah the memories!

I could go on forever, but I won't. Thanks for the laughs!

Next time you guys come to Utah we need to hang out and reminisce...I'll always think you're funny.

Kecia said...

One more thing...I was just remembering all the songs you made up about problem tenants and general working songs. Like "Log OUT!" "AHH, Todd Mack", "Gun Cabinet," and the Wicked witch of the west theme song for YOU-KNOW-WHO! I know I'm forgetting a lot of them.

Ryan said...

Well, well, well...look who posted on the blog. Next thing you know, you'll be comfortable wearing pantyhose or something.

But I kid. I very much enjoyed reading your hundred things. Keep up the good blogging!

Mommas said...

I have never laughed so hard at a blog before. That was GREAT! And lets set the "Pooder" record straight. I used to sing a little song to you that went "Ooder, Ska-dooder, my little boy Pooder. Ooder, Ska-dooder, I love-a-love you." Somehow others picked up on the "Pooder" part. I may have said it few times too, but my main nickname for you was "Ickle-Bickle" - which you don't seem to remember. I love these posts! And keep loving Angie Whitaker. I love her too.

jeanine said...

Those were hilarious... and I just have to say that Rich and I ate so much cookie dough one night and ended up with salmonella. IT'S REAL!

Rachel said...

That was possibly the funniest 100 Things About Me I have ever read. Isn't it funny how bad you hated me when you were little and then you ended up marrying someone who tells you to "stop it" as much as I used to? You are hysterical little brother. I love you!

Megara said...

It was so awesome reading your and Angie's lists...you guys are a riot, I miss hanging around you! I hope all is well for you guys. Come visit me in Hawaii!!!

Anonymous said...

hey richie - you probably are colorblind because my dad is, which means your mom is a carrier and thus you have a 50% chance of being color blind. trust me, i'm a doctor. love, your long lost cousin gillian

Tara said...

Ok Angie's husband you are hilarious! I was laughing so hard through this and I can see that Angie chose a great husband ... well except for the whole BYU thing.

Go Utes! :)

Inkling (aka yer cous) said...

hat I remember about little Richie: I thought he was the grouchiest little boy I ever met because he had such a scowl whenever I was around. Then he turned into a teenager and I discovered he was about the funniest boy I ever met, but not so little. Especially when the Richard and Ryan show gets going--there's nothing like it.

Whitehorn Family said...

that was great!! so many intersting things between the two of you. Way to go thinking of 100 things!!!

Kurtis said...

Richie and Angie, you two are hilarious! Kurtis and I died laughing reading your posts. In fact, we both had to switch reading them out loud because one of us could only go so long before we were laughing too hard to continue. I can't believe that Richie didn't let more of his funny side out in our classes. I think audiology would have been a lot more bearable for me with his humor. I'm so excited for your baby. Ang, you will be a fabulous mother....I always felt like you took care of me when I was in your ward. You were so nice to be friends with us as little 18 year old freshmen, and you are still by far my best visiting teacher. I always smile when I think of you. ~Lindsey (Passic)

Angie said...

Lindsey! I don't have access to your blog! Send me an invitation at angie.mail13@gmail.com